Tag Archives: Theo’s elicit love

The one with Dance Mania and its ridiculous fire code

Claire realizes Theo’s desperate need to be popular will never go away and decides to be a cool mom and give him two tickets to appear on Dance Mania, a local dance show with neon and spandex.  Naturally, Theo takes Cockroach as his guest because he harbors a secret love for him and still hasn’t learned that Cockroach only uses him for free sandwiches and knee-rides from Cliff.  The boys show up at Dance Mania and Theo thinks this is the greatest thing that has ever happened to him because he clearly does not value the time spent in the recording studio jammin’ on the one with Stevie Wonder.  Security tells the boys that they are at capacity and fire code restrictions will only allow one of them to come inside and dance maniacally.  Theo is hit with a sudden flash of chivalry and tells Cockroach that he should be the one to go inside and dance.  Of course, Cockroach immediately dashes inside because he is a total a-hole and completely dismissive of Theo’s feelings toward him.  Theo is left outside, seemingly fuming at his missed chance to be popular and on TV and secretly fuming at his unrequited love for Cockroach.  The next day at school, Cockroach is super popular because he tells everyone that he got on Dance Mania and was doing some moves with Tina, the most popular dancer.  Adam Sandler tells Cockroach he would pay a million dollars to be Cockroach and continues to inexplicably be in Theo and Cockroach’s circle of friends. Theo is seen glaring angrily into his locker and throwing his notebooks around while listening to his circle of friends kiss up to Cockroach, but he calms himself down enough to glance forlornly at the photo he has taped up of himself and Cockroach from junior prom and he covertly licks the side of Cockroach’s face before slamming his locker shut.  Theo arrives home from school so down in the dumps that he doesn’t even make a sandwich.  Claire finds him moping in his room and asks him what the matter is.  Theo tells Claire the whole story and Claire tells him it’s his own fault because the whole family knows Cockroach is an a-hole, sort of like how the whole family knows Elvin is embarrassing to men as a gender, and why can’t he see this.  Theo yearns to tell Claire that he is probably blinded by his love for Cockroach but he doesn’t.  Claire, in a typical moment of exasperation that is the prelude to her making a point, purses her lips, widens her eyes, and starts some head/neck isolation movements before telling him to get over it.  Theo finally comes to the conclusion that Cockroach comes first and popularity comes second and surely that Dance Mania moment will buy him at least a few more months of friendship with Cockroach, enough time that maybe he can bring that daydream he has about the two of them stranded at a remote campsite with only one sleeping bag into fruition.


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