Tag Archives: Kicking Vanessa in the head

The one where Vanessa wants to be a drum major

This is the one where Vanessa wants be the first girl drum major at her school.  She practices all day, marching around the living room and down the stairs and she’s terrible.  Clair tells Vanessa to her face that she’s real proud of her and then can be seen alone in the kitchen making a bunch of food she’ll later tell Cliff he can’t eat because the doctor told him not to and making big eye rolls about how bad Vanessa is doing because she can hear her crashing into the furniture.  Denise comes home from trying on hats at the mall to find Vanessa still marching around the living room and gives her some advice: don’t audition for drum major or you’ll lose all your friends.  Cliff comes home and makes Vanessa sit down on the couch while he walks around with an unlit cigar in his mouth making jokes about women’s lib and Vanessa’s bad grades in school.  In the end, Vanessa goes to school and forgets to try out for drum major because she is too busy gossiping at her locker.  When she gets home, her mom waves her finger at her and gives her a stern lecture about following through with your goals but secretly everyone is happy because they know she would be an even bigger pain in the ass if she actually became the drum major.  In the final scene, Cliff and Clair are in their bedroom and ready to do it in their silk pajamas when Vanessa busts in and asks if she can sleep with her giant drum major baton in her bed.


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Filed under Vanessa's Goals