Tag Archives: Cliff and Claire want to do it

The one about the first day of school

This is the one where Rudy wakes up Cliff and Clair by jumping on their bed, fully clad in a church dress and dripping in costume jewelry like pearls and a plastic charm belt. Cliff and Clair are upset because they are the only adults in America who do not have to wake up until 7am and it is only 6:55am and Rudy has again foiled their chances of doing it. Rudy is excited because it’s the first day of school and she has been up since 5am cooking with grease on the stove and draping herself in jewelry and she is ready to start first grade. Cliff tells Rudy to get out and go re-dress herself because she looks like a fortune teller and Claire spanks her for not making pancakes. Cliff and Claire share a brief moment getting excited about not having their children in the house all day so there will be more time for them to do it. Cliff decides to wake up the rest of the kids because the sooner they are out of the house the sooner he can do it with Clair. Denise predictably wants nothing to do with Cliff who immediately assumes she’s doing a boy in her room before school. Theo attempts to stay hidden beneath his comforter until Cliff forces him to fall off his bed. Nobody bothers to wake up Vanessa which is no suprise. The kids take off out the door and Cliff and Clair can’t wait to do it. At the end of the day, the kids come home from school and are yelling at each other which angers Clair who is trying to do major lawyer work at her miniature writing desk in the living room with the TV, which you would think should be a quiet space where nobody would be hanging out after school. Cliff and Clair learn that Vanessa has already secured a place in detention for the next 2 weeks for excessive gossiping in class, and Denise skipped world geography to try on hats at the mall. Nobody has heard from Theo because he ran straight up to his room to make a new locker shrine depicting his love for Cockroach and Alfonso Ribeiro. Rudy is sad because a boy in her class called her “Rudy Huckleberry” and Cliff tells her to get over it and then calls her “Trophy Head.”


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Filed under First day of school