The one where Vanessa gets drunk

Vanessa has friends even shittier than Janet. Like Angela, for instance, who thinks it’s a great idea to play The Alphabet Game with a bottle of bourbon. Vanessa and her friends get super wasted and it’s a good thing no boys are around or there’d probably be a very special chlamydia episode. Denise picks Vanessa up and tries to sneak her into the house, but Cliff and Clair find out about Vanessa’s drunkeness when Angela’s mom calls to apologize for her daughter having the drinking habits of a middle-aged man who wears an ascot and breeds horses. Vanessa vomits all over her bed and when Cliff and Clair come in to check on her they yell at her for a moment before leaving her passed out face-down on the bed, clearly not caring if her air passage is blocked because hey, nobody has high expectations for her anyway. Vanessa gets home from school the next day, still hungover and miserable, and true to form Cliff and Clair decide it’s a perfect time to sit her down and teach her a lesson using an elaborate scheme involving various family members playing character roles. This time, the scheme involves Cliff, Clair, Rudy and Vanessa all playing The Alphabet Game together in the living room with a bottle of bourbon. Vanessa holds Cliff in such low regard as to actually believe that he would make young Rudy take bourbon shots that she falls for the scheme until the very end when she realizes the bourbon is just tea and everyone has been laughing at her expense the whole time. Which only cements her feelings of insecurity and commitment to drinking herself into oblivion in her closet each morning before school from here on out.

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