Clair receives a letter in the mail from Hillman College requesting that she be on the committee to honor some dean that is retiring after 53 years. Cliff is obviously peeved that he did not receive a letter requesting his participation because after all, he doesn’t even think Clair worthy of having an adult-sized workspace in the house. Clair tells Cliff the college probably didn’t send him a letter because they didn’t want him to upstage the dean. And after lying to him thusly, she laughs at Cliff behind his back, knowing that sitting on this committee will buy her at least a week away from Cliff and the kids and probably a new blazer with enormous shoulderpads. Cliff invites his father to stay with him and help watch the kids and his dad shows up with a sack of old person stuff like oatmeal he claims the Vikings ate and some cookies. Vanessa and Rudy get home from school to see their grandpa with his sack of old person stuff and beg for a cookie until Cliff says they can each have one. Clair calls up in the middle of all the excitement over being allowed to eat one cookie and Cliff gets in trouble for not asking for her long distance dietary permission. Some girls at school nominate Theo “Stallion of the Month” so he starts getting prank phone calls at home. Theo acts excited about the attention in front of his dad and Grandpa while knowing deep down all the accolades and professions of love are meaningless to him unless they come from the sweet, delicious lips of his best friend Cockroach. Cliff is distracted and tired the whole week because he has to deliver two babies because God forbid he has to do anything other than make mouth noises and sneak sandwiches all day. So his dad picks up the slack by answering the phone and walking around the house aimlessly peering into kitchen cabinets. The episode ends with Cliff getting another call to deliver a baby and asking his dad to retell his favorite childhood bedtime story that he overheard him telling Rudy. And because Cliff is not only a terrible father but a terrible doctor, he delays his drive to the hospital so he can hear his dad tell some stupid nonsense about a bear named Hugo and a wolf named Hans.
September 22, 2008 · 1:43 pm