Theo skips school to hang out at a downtown gay bar, gets wasted and decides to booty call his best friend Cockroach. Cockroach, entirely oblivious to Theo’s emotional anguish at his unrequited love, redirects Theo’s heartache to his 7 year old sister, Trixie, who is giving ear piercings in his garage for 99 cents. Believing a homemade ear piercing will impress Cockroach, Theo submits his right ear lobe (the gay lobe) for piercing. As Trixie is only 7, with a severe case of hyperopia and poor fine motor skills, it takes her 27 tries to pierce Theo’s ear. With each stabbing of an old sewing needle into his gay lobe, Theo imagines that it is his heart, pierced with the sufferings of a thousand nights he has cried himself silently to sleep because he will never feel Cockroach’s hot breath creeping down his shirt collar. And because Theo is stupid enough to submit his body to the control of a 7 year old with a rusty needle, his ear predictably gets infected and Cliff has to operate. And then some business happens where Cliff’s father tells everyone about how Cliff tried to impress Claire by attempting to straighten his hair with a homemade concoction of pencil shavings, grape jelly and nitroglycerine and burned all his hair off. And then Cliff’s mom tells everyone how Cliff’s father tried to have her name tattooed on his chest to impress her but had the name of her rival tattooed accidentally instead. And then everyone laughs and eats some chips.
October 3, 2008...2:42 pm
The one where Theo gets his ear pierced
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